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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Evil in bottles

Why oh why do people drink alcopops? These bright coloured abominations are so far from what a drink should be that the advertising genii who make punters desire these must have really pulled one out of the bag. The colouring, flavouring, sugar and caffeine all combined in one bottle should just not be drunk.

The alcohol level is not very high allowing them to avoid punitive duty in the uk. Their way of achieving the drunkeness required in punters to keep drinking these foul brews is to lace them with enough chemicals to send you gasping for more fluid while disrupting your body's metabolism to such an extent that the reduced alcohol level still gets you plastered.

The effects of which all come crashing down the morning after.
Waking to find your mouth, stomach and throat pickled by the pungent blend. You then finding the sugar has left your system, leaving in its wake the artificial colourings and flavourings that disguise the cheap alcohol which has cunningly converted overnight into eye-stabbing methanol in your blood stream.

Note to self: Stick to beer in future, it may be bad for the lean mean slimmer doorman machine but it's a better morning after.

ps. Thanks to you folk out there for reading this. Comment if there's ought you want to know more about.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for reading? Thanks for writing :) I like the regularity, and I'm finding it really funny..

Having worked in a number of highly salubrious drinking establishments it all rings horribly horribly true. I can't think of anything right now I'd like to know more about, but keep the tales coming!


ajh said...

I totally agree with your post. Although I do recognise myself in the earlier stoodents post, I wouldnt dream of drinking alcopops.

Although, when younger and still at school/college, I can imagine they are rather more attractive if one isnt used to drinking on a regular basis.