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Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Keep Pushing

I like to see how far I can push sometimes. When you've not a lot to do and you feel like flattening everyone in the room I like to find some muppet, generally a boy, who's doing something slightly naughty. Something petty like having his feet up on the leather seating, or wandering across the dancefloor to his mates with a drink in each hand. Nothing major, just the kind of thing I'd normally just warn and forget about.
I do warn, in a very obnoxious, brisk way. I use aggressive body language and follow it with a hard to read stare. The warning sticks but it ruins any good relationship we have built up. If I've got nothing better to do I'll keep the nasty stares. I place my oversize frame somewhere to block their view. If I have to I can keep this up for a few hours but I don't usually need to. I just keep pushing, when they head to the bar I deliberately chose then to check all's good with the barstaff. I give them a 20 second lead when they head for the gents. I let them know I've got it in for them and they get the gist very quickly.
They may come and front up to me, ask me what my problem is. They don't normally. They just take their frustrations out in beer or on anther punter. Then I get the fun of escorting them to the door and hear their pointless apparently paranoid ranting. All topped off with a 'good night sir' from the front step. It's not big, it's not clever but is it funny. Especially if you tip off your colleagues as to who you're pushing.

9 comments:

an.otherdoorman said...

I agree.

Anonymous said...

You're a bit of evil twat really aren't you?

Ian said...

Why bother to do that? Sounds like your potentially making more work for yourself and ruining someones night into the bargin over something very petty.

Surprised that this entry came from you having read your blog for sometime, you've come across as a more measured and thoughtful bouncer.

Adoor Man said...

As I say, if you're in an "I'm gonna flatten everyone mood", it's not professional, it's not thughtful and it's not typical, but it can fill a few hours at work at the expense of a punter.

an.otherdoorman said...

Also anonymous and ian, if you have ever worked the door you'll know for a fact that you cannot be composed, eloquent and controlled every single shift, every single night.

cramerj said...

do you ever get sued?

Anonymous said...

And you remove all comments that disagree with you.

an.otherdoorman said...

The above comments are clearly negative, and yet they haven't been removed.

joker1972 said...

Evil yes but it's a hell of a lot of fun doing it. This is one of the things I miss about this type of work.