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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Unasked questions

Your chance to ask those curious things that have been bugging you about your nights out or the doorstaff you meet. I'll keep an extra eye on this post for comments and get back to you either directly or with a post on the topic.

Meanwhile I'm struck by the large number of questions I never get to ask of people, it's sometimes simply not polite to ask them about the thing that's just struck you as highly intriguing.

For example, questions you're unlikely to hear but slowly eat away at me are,
How did you lose that arm?
Do you only own that 1 top? and how often do you wash it?
What do you do to earn your drinking money when you're in here 6 nights a week spending that much just on booze? And how do you still get paid when you must turn up pissed so many days a week?
Where is your accent from when you're ID says you're from 10 miles away?
Do you have a mirror in your house?
Are you partially sighted?
No, then really why on earth are you wearing that out in public?
Do you really expect me to believe that?
Did you know you're skirt is tucked in your knickers?
How long have you had you're nipple hanging out?
Don't you have a bra that isn't grey? Or can you wear a top that doesn't show most of it?
Have you ever heard of hairdressers?
Are you a haemophiliac or just too lazy to shave?
Really why? No really stop for a bit and why?

These and a thousand other questions crop up in my night but it's just not good professional customer service to ask. If you have any answers to any of these answers on a postcard.


non-chav nightclub attendee said...

Great to see you back. I always enjoy your well-written posts about nightlife.

Thanks for the opportunity to ask you a question. Mine is: Do you appreciate genuinely friendly banter from regular punters (albeit they may have had a few before arriving at your club), or would you prefer to be left alone to do your job and concentrate on the rowdy/aggressive/generally badly behaved chavs?

The reason I ask is that many doormen (though certainly not all) seem to take any interaction at the door, beyond paying the entrance fee, as coming from a potential source of trouble. I realise you can't be too matey, but a friendly response to a friendly approach surely puts the night on a better start? I am of course making a general point about door staff: obviously I have no idea how you personally act.

Anyway, please do carry on the great work with your blog. It is always a superb read and fascinating to see nightlife from your side of the equation.

Adoor Man said...

Hi man,
I do enjoy banter with customers, if I'm not somewhere high stress and I can hear you a little bit of funny chit chat can really pick up a dull night.

It often has to be the typical hospitality conversation though where you're talking to someone while looking over their shoulder and you may have to drop the conversation to do something, only to pick it back up again a minute later, if they've not moved on to wooing an attractive individual nearby.

non-chav nightclub attendee said...

Thanks for a considered response. I hadn't considered the looking over the shoulder bit.

Might I be permitted a second bite at the cherry? In my line of work, if we get offered the opportunity to ask people questions we generally take it.

If you could pass one law, or repeal an existing one, or even just enforce an existing one properly, to make your life easier and the night out for good punters more enjoyable, what would it be?

Anonymous said...

hey bro,

bit of an odd question and for that i apologise! Just wondering what the word "chav" covers over on your side of the pond?

In Ireland it's just a generic term for "scumbag" and on one of the doors i work we have it as a call sign for trouble on the front door.

Just wondering what type of social group it covers Stateside as i have not seen too many references to the term from American's.

Cheers bro,


Adoor Man said...

I'm a Jock working with the enemy south of the border.
Not over the pond, just over the puddle.

I'll have a good think about that one and probably make a full post of it.