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Friday, October 05, 2007

Swear down

What the hell is going on with 'swearing down'? Where did this useless phrase of alleging honesty come from? It seriously raises my hackles every time some half drunk chav says this to me.

Just the mention of this phrase turns a cynical but potentially persuadable doorman into one extremely obstinate git. I've found that anyone who uses it invariably is blatantly lying or missing so much from the story that they might as well be.

I'm not easy to talk your way round and that is a very useful trait in this work. I will listen and will assess what you've said to see if there's anything I should be doing. Not could be doing, but should be doing to protect the revenue in the club. If someone starts swearing down, I just throw up the wall and wait for the moment to ask them to leave. Why mark yourself out as a chav by saying it and pray that no-one upstairs is counting the lies you've told sworn against your babies life?

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