Shoes (pt I)

The first issue I have with shoes is women out of them. I understand the sad pressure applied to ladies of all kinds to appear thin, sexy and fashionable at all times but, for f**k's sake, why try and wear shoes for a night out that you can't.

Nightclubs tend not to have too many seats, preferring customers to stand at bars or use the dance floors to exercise and build up a thirst. Ladies are well aware that a long night out includes standing in bars and walking between them, then moving to a nightclub where standing in the outside queue, standing at bars and basically standing on dance floors are all included. If you like pretty shoes, don't buy ones that will hurt your feet, or don't bring only them for a full night out.

If you're in a nightclub where there may be broken glass about at some stage, don't take your shoes off. If you have to move in a hurry, for instance for a fire-alarm, there won't be time to put your strappy, glittery, small buckled stilettos back on, and you won't want to walk barefoot over the broken glasses of those ahead of you. That'll be why we ask you to put your shoes back on. It's also why we'll ask you to leave if you don't get the message. If you want to walk the cold streets barefoot feel free, just not our sparkling floored nightclub.